Too much pain for a time so slow

(be aware this is going to be a rambling mess...)

Well my Ottawa trip just got worse and worse. 5-6 weeks ago I was thinking things were coming around for the marathon, then 3 weeks ago I was thinking that with everything going on the 10km was a much better option. By Saturday night at around 6:35 (the race started at 6:30) I was thinking this is going to hurt. I ended up at 31:48 and 2nd masters, but my expectations were much higher. Maybe wishful thinking, but alas no one ever accused me of being a cynic, at least not when it comes to running.


Thing about it is that I ran as hard as I could and that was still disappointing. But in the end I don't think I really cared too much. I was pretty spent and I ran on emotions more so than the average person. I realized after the fact I was running on fumes, but this is the main event put on by my sponsor Mizuno so I figured I should at least give it the ol 'college try'. It's kinda strange as people look at my age and think my time is pretty good, but my expectations haven't really dropped over the last few years.

But I was able to see some people who I haven't seen in a while, so at least there is some positive to come along. Funny thing as I haven't raced on the track much or even XC over the last 2 yrs so all of a sudden there are all these guys who I don't even know kicking my butt.

The good thing to come out of this weekend is that I am aware of how my emotions are impacting me physically. My achilles is 'tweaked' and I cannot go through being out 2+ months again and then coming back. I'd like to have a good fall and enjoy my running this summer, so I am going to x train for the rest of this week, get back to work (I am on a 2 week parental leave) and then re-evaluate where things are before I refocus.

If the achilles responds nicely we roll....if not then I have made the promise to myself that I will get rid of this achilles problem. I was able to see a massage therapist on Friday in Ottawa and he didn't think there was much damage, but I also know how quickly an achilles can do downhill.

On Sunday I was able to work my way down to the finish line and hoped to see Steve O make the Berlin team. I am not sure what happened entirely except that he dropped out around 23-24km. Unfortunately, it happens and I am sure he (and Dick) are crushed. I totally feel for the guy as he has worked so hard and looked so fit, but alas it's why we actually have to go out and run the race. To paraphrase Herb Elliott 'you have to be arrogant enough to think you can do it, but still humble enough to actually go out and do it'.

Some times we we get nothing from the outcomes, but we can sure learn a lot from the process. Yeah I know cheap words, but if there is one thing I've come to realize is that in the long run you learn far more from the process as a person than you would ever learn from some brilliant outcome....but that great outcome sure makes things feel a helluva lot better.....