What really matters...

How to disrupt training.....there really is only one way....’life gets in the way’....

It’s been a while since I’ve posted due to one little, yet also very huge reason. That being the birth of my first child. Now in some instances this would be a huge deal no matter what, but in this situation it was magnified umpteen times. Over the years I’ve had the opportunity to meet many people, but very few actually know who I am. I can be quiet, obnoxious (a nice way of saying I can be an *%%^&%&^(), talkative, opinionated, supportive, etc... it’s one of those things where people see me on the outside, but very few really get at my core. I am conscious of what I give out (although at times it may not seem that way) and I know ...to paraphrase Sean Penn it can be difficult to like me at times, but this post gives you some insight into what makes me tick..... and why those who put up with me do so...

Our due date was two Mondays ago, but very little concern was expressed as all previous Dr visits were positive. On Thursday (the 7th) Julie was pretty sure this was the day, but her contractions subsided. Oh well, at the very least we go till Monday I thought (when the Dr would incur birth).
On Fri at work I get a call that Julie is having 3-4 min contractions....eeeekkk.....

I get someone to cover my class and head home around 1:30. Julie says that she is still getting contractions, but at her appt that morning the baby’s face is no longer head down, but instead face down, but that the Dr expressed no concerns as on Mon it was head down. But Julie’s paranoia (in this case we now refer to it as good instincts) says that something is wrong...she hasn’t felt much movement since late in the morning. We call our Dr and he sends us for an ordinary stress test on the baby.

This turns out to not be so ordinary as every contraction his HR goes from a normal 150 to half that for 30 secs. His appears to be hyper-extended with an ultra sound, and all of a sudden Dr after Dr comes in... Our initial ordinary stress test turns into people getting bumped out of their surgeries and us getting moved to the front of the Queue. As we would find out his umbilical cord has been wrapped around his neck 3 times and has pulled him into his hyper-extended position. Julie ends up with a C section, but we hear no scream to indicate a healthy child. All we hear is silence and see a limp little body being worked on by a team of medical staff. He eventually breathes, but he looks listless. Julie is beside herself, but I somehow remain intact emotionally.
He gets sent to the baby intensive care and although he is breathing fine his arms and legs have no tension. His oxygen levels are lowish and his sugar levels are off the charts low. It seems as though he’s been fighting for hours and is now simply exhausted.

I stay with him, while Julie goes to recovery. I have nothing to say, except will he be okay. This and my wife’s reaction are the only things that matter. I stay with him till they say I can see Julie. We are both devastated and the only things entering our minds are worst case scenarios, but I try to keep her positive and remind her what the Dr told me that what mattered most was how he reacted in the first 24 hours.

We barely sleep that night and are up to see our first born Carter Gordon Bomba early in the morning, but we can only touch him. There is no holding him and he is irritated when he is touched. Our attitudes can be only be described as ‘hanging on for dear life’, but I am able to hide how I feel on the inside and remind my wife to stay positive. It’s surreal and we both can’t believe where we are.

As the day goes on he improves and we become more positive. By the next day he is active and we can even hold him (although with tubes all over). Since he is now more alert and stable I go home to get some clothes and get in a run.
The run is more therapy than anything else, and the privacy or the run overrides the stoic attitude I’ve had the last few days. The first 30mins of the run is everything I can do to fall into a blubbering mess. I get though the run, but barely.

It is here that I realize how much this whole affair has impacted me. I do it with no one around and on my own terms, but I also know that right now I can show no weakness to my wife or my child. At this moment in time I am required to be the one who remains calm and the experiences of running help me to control those outward emotions that so want to come out. It is now that I remember that despite all my shortcomings there is one thing I’ve learned and that is when ‘push comes to shove’ I am one of those people who revel in those opportunities.

It is the perspective of the moment that allows me to realize what is important and what is secondary. Much like a race where one either takes a chance or decides to see what can happen. I’ve always known the answer, but now it is more action than words.....