20/20 hindsight is a beautiful thing

....just when things seems to be coming along something (sometimes my own fault...sometimes not) have really bit me in the behind this fall. Such was the case this past weekend at BC XC.

My main focus for this fall was simple...stay uninjured, have fun and run Can XC. Except for the injury part I cannot honestly say that these three goals have been met. I find enjoying running is a byproduct of fitness and that will come, but for now it's a grind.

The shocking thing was not that I had an unexpectedly bad race at BC XC, but that I felt near death after about one lap. I ended up dropping out at just under 4km, as I had began feeling somewhat in a daze around 3km, but by the 4km mark I was literally feeling light headed. When I dropped out things even got worse and I felt like I was either going to pass out or be sick. In the end none of those two options occurred, but for the rest of the day I felt like my 'head was in the clouds'. I ended up going to sleep in the afternoon and then sleeping for over 12 hours that night. Even On Sunday I felt better, but when I went for a run I felt lousy again and decided to take the day off work. It was probably a good thing as I slept another 12 hrs and am still somewhat sleep even as I type this post.

One of the things I think I've done well is honestly assess why things have gone poorly in racing/training. In this scenario I can only think that everything over the fall came to a head on Saturday (bad timing). That being a whole lot of factors that I've been ignoring from training, work, coaching, parenting, marriage and just general life (any successful athlete has to have some semblance of selfishness and I have come to realize I have been trying to keep everyone happy, but me...in the end my first priority is only to keep three people and a dog happy). If I take any one of these out of the equation I think I am fine. The warning signs were there earlier in the last couple of weeks (I had to can my long run last Sunday when I woke up with dizzy spells and for some reason I had migraines this past week.... which I never have). I can see how those warning sign had shown themselves now, but at the time I was blind.

The only positive is that things are now much simpler for the rest of this fall (no focus races and HS XC ends this weekend). It's simply training with the odd race to keep me honest....a combination of this and recognizing how I have been spreading myself thin means some things will have to change. I've had life and training stresses impact me before, but I don't think I've ever had this much on my plate...something will have to change.