Scientific Myths...

After I finished my workout yesterday I crossed paths with some of the young collegiate guys from my alma mater. As they went by I wondered if they had any insight into what they needed to become better athletes over the long term. At one time I was one of these young, arrogant and stupid guys who figured scientific ideas and low volume could make successful athlete development over the long haul. As I came to realize... I WAS WRONG. I read a recent study that said at this moment in time scientific research can't be used to answer many questions about running due to the lack of insight and number of vaariables. This will surely be some rant in the future, but for now some light heartedness from the infamous Malmo...

The History and Future of Kung Fu in America

In 17th and 18th century when Shaolin Kung Fu practice was being codified Masters would exchange information through word-of-mouth at Exhibitions. Exciting time it was. Master Igloi to Master Lee-Diard, many different kind Kung Fu. Eventually best Kung Fu methods rise to top. Much information was exchanged through KUNG FU WORLD in Kansas Monastery in the UnitedStates.

KUNG FU WORLD have many monks and scribes to make many copy on rice paper. Send writings of Kung Fu Masters all around world. Many Grasshopper read KUNG FU WORLD. Many Grasshopper benefit from writings of KUNG FU WORLD.

In 19th century, monks at KUNG FU WORLD become soiled with stain of Western world -- stain of greed...stain of money. Sell KUNG FU WORLD to highest bidder. Many evil monks work at new KUNG FU WORLD. Say "Put our writings on check-out stand at grocery store. Sell to bored American housewife, just like GEISHAPOLITAN." Good plan for pocket, bad plan for soul.

One day evil monks say "We need more Yen, find Kung Fu Master to make false writings to sell to grasshopper." One monk ask, "But is this not against teachings of the Kung Fu Masters?" Young monk get banished from KUNG FU WORLD and false prophet Master Ga Lo-Wei now put writings on rice paper. Master Ga Lo-Wei earn credentials from association with Master Shorter. Evil monk Ga Lo-Wei abandon Masters teachings and now teach false Kung Fu.

About same time in 19th century more evil monk see much Yen make by selling
Kung Fu writings, say "I have better Kung Fu, I have New Kung Fu, I have Exercise Physiology." These new EP monks see new Monastery to exploit for Yen, only now not called "Yen" -- now called "Grant Yen". Monastery system already in place -- American University system. Find gullible sucker with bigger and deeper pockets filled with "Grant Yen" -- the US Government.
These new evil EP monks in white coats put Grasshopper on treadmill, put electrode up rectum, have funny mask put on Grasshopper face to steal his breath, to steal his soul. Have Mantis Caliper measure skin, measure fat. Put all information on abacus and make calculation.

Evil EP monks in white coats proclaim, "Old way to measure success is no good, these writings of mine on this rice paper is proof! Time is no longer way to measure success, VO2Max is now the new way to measure Kung Fu
success." All Kung Fu Master shake head, not understand selfish greed of New Kung Fu, not understand selfish greed of new KUNG FU WORLD.

During the mid 19th century and the 20th century evil monks run rampant. Spread their New Kung Fu virus to Grasshoppers across USA. Each year, there are less and less Kung Fu warriors in USA. No more Kung Fu champions.
Meanwhile in the rest of the world, monks are teaching old Kung Fu with new EPO Fungus Potion.

One day, monk in CERN Monastery invent new way of printing on ethereal rice paper. Another monk in Illinois monastery invent way of reading ethereal rice paper. New way share writings of Kung Fu Masters: World Wide Monastery!

Which brings us to 21st century.

Use the World Wide Monastery for good Kung Fu. But be careful, the evil EP monks are busy at work, hatching plan to control this World Wide Monastery.

Today, I hear, evil monks at New York Kung Fu Monastery want make New York Kung Fu Exhibition the USA National Kung Fu Exhibition. Evil monks at this monastery for many century ignore American Grasshopper. Say, "Kenya Kung Fu is better, Italian Kung Fu is better, Mexican Kung Fu is better." Master Po ask, "How does American Grasshopper get honor at Kung Fu exhibition at home when evil monks in New York Monastery not invite Grasshopper to exhibition?" Why do evil monks now want American Kung Fu Exhibition?

Master Po know answer to this riddle: for these evil monks, it has always been "Yen". New Mantis Warrior have top Kung Fu honor walk earth from
Morocco Monastery to America. Evil New York monks hatch plan to lure this Warrior to New York Exhibition, then sell TV rights and keep all Yen for evil monastery. All other American grasshopper be damned.

Grasshopper of American monasteries must unite and fight the evil monks of the New York Monastery. American Kung Fu Exhibition must go to monastery that have for centuries support for local Kung Fu. New York Monastery must be proscribe until evil monks are routed and monastery show long-term commitment for American Grasshopper.

Good shall always prevail over evil.


Master Po